Here’s a general rule of thumb: If coaching a youth sports event, one should not become so enraged with an opposing coach that he or she physically charges them and attacks them so violently that it warrants an arrest for assault. 
Sadly, two South Bend, Ind. T-ball coaches failed to heed that simple advice, with a coach aggressively attacking his opposing equal number, knocking him to the ground and pummeling him while his players looked on in tears. The coaches involved were 32-year-old Anthony Borders -- he’s your alleged attacker -- and 56-year-old Oscar Cantu. The two coaches allegedly began verbally sparring with one another during a summer matchup, with the Maurice Matthys Little League umpire on site intervening to keep the event from escalating in the early innings. 
According to South Bend ABC affiliate WBND, the second time the coaches began chattering at each other, Borders made a hard charge directly at Cantu before he even had a chance to prepare. "All of a sudden we were arguing and I was on the ground- I didn't see it coming. I didn't know what happened," Cantu told WBND. "I was on the ground and when I looked around I knew there was a couple of my kids that were crying." Police showed up on the scene shortly thereafter and Cantu bleeding on the ground, leading to Borders’ arrest for assault. WBND reported that Cantu was recovering shortly after the attack, but that he suffered a broken nose and burst blood vessels in his eyes from the attack. To think that all of that came from a far-too-heated argument during a t-ball game. The children may have been crying because of the violence, but they easily could have been crying at the coaches’ collective idiocy, too. I feel like this story has a major hole in it...such as, what caused this attack? I am a huge supporter of parents being tough on their kids, especially in sports, because I don't want to have my son turn out to be the next Clay Aiken. There's 2 major things that could've caused this attack that I believe we all could see as legitimate: 1) The opposing coach threw at one of the attacking coaches players. There's a chance this could happen, especially if the player being thrown at is the next Yaisiel Puig, fresh off the boat with a bat in hand. And if somebody threw at my star player and I was a coach, no matter how old the players were, I'd knock that guy into next week. I want the damn trophy. Whether its t-ball, single A, or MLB, I WANT TO WIN! 2) The opposing coach made some remark about how the coach who did the attacking didn't give all of his players the proper playing time. Now this shit really grinds my gears. Even playing time. If my future kid ends up sucking at a sport (which is clearly hypothetical seeing as there's no chance he will with my DNA), I'd want his coach to sit his ass on the bench and practice. I'm not gonna reward some four-year old snot who couldn't catch water if they fell of a boat be rewarded by playing centerfield because its the "league rules". Well you know what little league officials who make this dumbass rules...you can fuck off. Because when I teach my future son the value of being rewarded with playing time because you're better than the next guy and he's starting at shortstop for the white sox in 2035 and your son is working at the car dealership selling hybrid Prius's, I will laugh directly in your face. But at the end of the day, it all comes down to one thing...WINNING. P.S. That kid in the picture definitely whiffed off the T...before you become the face of another t-ball photo, take a batting lesson squirt.
As if the bible didn't have enough rules, the high and mighty pope is trying to tell his cardinal and priest minions what kinds of cars they can drive now. These poor clergymen are already deprived of sex, money, and pretty much anything that you would consider a good time (unless you thoroughly enjoy praying, in which case, more power to you). I think cardinal George should at least be able to be swagged out, big hat on and a Rolex on his wrist wouldn't kill his churchgoers, right? Or if he pulled up to Vatican City in a 2013 lambo with his windows down blaring Drake and Meek Mill's smash gospel hit "Amen"? But I digress. My point is this: what kind of car would Jesus drive and why? I'm saying a hummer limousine. Why you ask? Because he can fit all of his posse aka apostles in the car with him at all times and all of his hoes aka women followers also. I assume the ratio of apostles to women would be about 4:1, although I don't have the slightest clue about population statistics from back then. Oh, and because nothing says "YAHWEH I AM THE SON OF GOD" more than a pearl white hummer limousine.
BATTLE ROYALE! IN THE BLUE CORNER: KENDALL JENNER AND IN THE RED CORNER: MCKAYLA MARONEY Younger sister of the spawns of satan kardashian clan vs Olympic gold medalist. Old fashioned, western standoff. Leave your comments or tweet me or whatever and let me know your answer/if you have somebody else who is even better (which I highly doubt). Hopefully well get some good ones. P.S They're both 17, so it isn't THAT bad to judge them in a sexual way. P.P.S If judging celebrity jailbait is wrong, then I don't want to be right.
I, for one, cannot even hula hoop. I don't know if its because my hips CAN lie or if its because I'm white or if its just a result of my lack of coordination. But either way, I'm impressed with this guy. Bonafide hulahooping superstar. America - 1, Rest of the World - 0.
http://www.businessinsider.com/these-are-the-6-strangest-positions-in-the-cuddle-sutra-2012-11?op=1 I just discovered a book called "The Cuddle Sutra" and decided to see what this is all about. And I must say, I am APPALED. I don't even know if I want to live anymore. I mean, let's face it, no male out there honestly enjoys cuddling. Just casually calls a girl over to "cuddle and watch a movie" and has no intention of going the distance later that night. And this broad publishes a book of cuddling positions!! It's shit like this that makes relationships so much harder for men. Every now and again, cuddling is acceptable...like after some great fellatio. But this book makes women feel empowered...like cuddling is a damn artform. Really, the "68 1/2"? Worst part of this is that the lady is making money off of this worthless piece of garbage while I'm sitting here doing work that nobody else in the damn office wants to do. At this point, I would be happier off in my room by myself with my laptop, doing what I do bes with my friend JILL, and then hitting the hay! No damn cuddling in that case.
Full Disclosure: I am a hawks fan. Now read on. As all of you should well know by now, the whole city of Chicago is in an uproar due to the biebs stepping on the hawks logo on Tuesday while taking a picture of the coveted Stanley Cup. And I think this is absolutely ludacris (and not fast 6-not that crazy ludacris, I mean circa-early 2000 "rollout" ludacris). Let's put this ordeal into perspective. A) He's a 19-year old kid from CANADA. How in the fuck is he supposed to know not step on the Blackhawks logo? B) Honestly, if it's not meant to be stepped on, why is it on the damn floor? And arguably most important C) The Blackhawks released a statement Wednesday stating that they informed him right when he stepped on it that he wasn't supposed to do, he politely obliged and apologized, and that was that. Even the hawks players didn't get their panties in a bunch. And yeah, I know, you're all gonna say how he was a kings fan, a bruins fan, etc. But why can't he be? He never came out and said he was a fan. He wore a hat or a damn jersey of another team for fuck's sake. I don't quite get it, but I understand Bieber is public enemy #1 for everybody and that's fine, but no need to harass him for stepping on the damn logo.
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